I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
