I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
