I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize