i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
