So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
