Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
