he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
