i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
