i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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