But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I intend to get homeless drunk
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
