I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
