She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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