The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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