i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
