I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
