i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
