whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I think I died a long time ago.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
