i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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