i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
