Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize