The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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