Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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