Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
