I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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