Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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