The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Gay?
German.
Pity.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize