There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize
