I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I can't turn off my feet"
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
