wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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