Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Randomize
