in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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