I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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