My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
well, you know. whores of a feather.
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