its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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