I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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