Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
