My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Can I color on your dick again?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Randomize
