I wannas sexs uuuuu
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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