I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
