you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Randomize
