i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
