dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
