I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
So much Jack, so little girl.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
