His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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