Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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