it wasn't lemon gatorade
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
