am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize