Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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