It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
either way he was missing a nipple.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
