And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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