How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
