my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
