I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
