i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
