I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
