I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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