Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
