One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
