No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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