You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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