FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
