Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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