Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
